Learning Outcome 1

Learning Outcome 1

I found that early on in my writing, I was making quite a few more revisions in my paper than I am now. For example, in my free draft for my metaphor essay, I found that I wrote too much for my introductory paragraph and needed to cut back. I cut out multiple lines towards the end which were talking about how the world around us may view a hospital situation. I cut out “This leads to Physicians, friends, and even family using their own tactics of dealing with a harsh situation to alter our outlook and change the way we feel…” The reason why I deleted the last few lines of my introduction was because it started to take the role of a body paragraph instead of simply providing background to what I was about to discuss. The only claim I want in my introduction is my thesis and I felt like I was making multiple claims before I even got there. After revision, I went from talking about “People who have dealt with hardships knows how it feels and should be caring…” into my thesis of how we can pursue the goal of metaphorical language and the impact it has on those around us. This was an example of a global revision because I took a large paragraph and cut it down to make more sense to the reader.

In my formal draft, My local edits were mainly just adding in pieces throughout my essay such as a title and page number along with properly formatted citations. Since my first essay, I’ve worked hard in trying to keep my word count appropriate in my paragraphs (especially in my introductory paragraph) and I’ve also made sure that I haven’t had too many smaller grammatical or formatting errors in my paper. I wrote on my recursive writing process sheet that my favorite writing strategies were to cut back on sentences, move around paragraphs, and carefully look over peer review comments to figure out whether or not those will help me when I’m revising my paper to generate my formal draft.

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